Step 1 of 6 · The basics

Let's start with the basics.

Quick context about the home so the rest of the worksheet makes sense for your specific situation.

When did you buy the home?

Who is on the mortgage?

Both spousesWe both signed for the loan Just meThe loan is in my name only Just my spouseThe loan is in their name only No mortgageThe home is paid off

Who is on the deed (title)?

Both spouses Just me Just my spouse Not sureThat's okay — your attorney will confirm

Step 2 of 6 · The numbers

What are the numbers?

Rough estimates are fine. We're trying to get a clear picture — not perfect accuracy.

Estimated home value

If you don't know, I can run a free comparative market analysis (CMA) — just leave this blank for now.

Current mortgage balance

Check a recent statement or your mortgage account online.

Current monthly mortgage payment

Including principal, interest, taxes, and insurance if escrowed.

Step 3 of 6 · The income picture

Can either of you carry the home alone?

This question shapes more of the decision than any other. Be honest with yourself — you can always change your mind.

If you kept the home alone, could you afford it?

Yes, comfortablyIncome would more than cover the payment plus expenses Yes, but it would be tightDoable, but with very little margin NoI couldn't afford it alone Not sureNeed to talk to a lender first

If your spouse kept the home alone, could they afford it?

Yes, comfortably Yes, but it would be tight No Not sure

Anything else worth noting? (optional)

Step 4 of 6 · Kids & timeline

What does timing look like?

The right answer often depends on what's happening in the rest of your life — school years, work schedules, military orders.

Are there minor children involved?

Yes — young childrenUnder 13 Yes — teens13–17 Yes — mixed ages No minor children

Does kids' stability shape the timing?

Yes — criticalWe want them to finish the school year, or graduate from this school Preferred, not criticalWould be nice but we're flexible Not a factor Doesn't applyNo kids, or kids are grown

Are there any military-specific timing factors?

Active deployment or upcoming deployment PCS orders pending or recent ETS or retirement in the next 12 months None of the above

Step 5 of 6 · The relationship

Where are you with each other?

No judgment. The answer changes which approach makes sense — not whether you deserve help.

How would you describe the current dynamic?

AmicableWe're working through this together — we just want a guide Neutral / business-likeNot warm, but we can make decisions together Tense — but we can still talkIt's hard, but we're still communicating ContestedWe're not aligned and decisions are hard Limited / no direct contactCommunication is through attorneys or third parties

Do you have an attorney working with you?

Yes Looking for one Working with a mediator Not yet

Step 6 of 6 · What each of you wants

If you could have it your way?

There are no wrong answers. The goal is to see where your wishes overlap — or don't — so the conversation can be honest.

What would YOU prefer to happen with the home?

I'd like to keep itStay in the home myself I'd like to sellGet a clean financial start I'd like my spouse to keep itI'm okay with them staying Defer the decisionKeep things as-is for now (for kids, timing, etc.) I genuinely don't know

What do you think YOUR SPOUSE would prefer?

They'd want to keep it They'd want to sell They'd want me to keep it They'd want to defer I'm not sure what they want

Anything else you'd want me to know? (optional)

The Clarity Conversation Worksheet

Let's start with the basics.

What are the numbers?

Can either of you carry the home alone?

What does timing look like?

Where are you with each other?

If you could have it your way?

Your worksheet, summarized.

01 The basics

02 The numbers

03 The income picture

04 Kids & timeline

05 The relationship

06 What each of you wants

Email this summary to yourself

Your summary is on its way.